♦Time, before and after.

♦ How I will make the most of it ♦ And how it will make the most of me.♦


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First Post is "Time" January 11th, 2012

SOB = short of breath


Friday, February 17, 2012

My Golden Hearts

I have to say that there comes a time in our lives when we realize that there are true Golden Hearts out there. These Golden Hearts are not the ones that are closest to us, they are Golden too, but I am referring to those that devote their lives to others, especially in their lives and with their professions.

Most people that choose their professions and lifestyles do so for the money, the income that it brings into their families and lifestyles, so that they can enjoy their chosen existences. And if they don’t get the income they feel they deserve they will drop their profession of choice like a hot potato and walk away indifferent, if not nonplussed, seeking a new outlet for financial gain. Don’t we all want that, to some degree? Not necessarily. But a very high percentage do.

Many people do what they like to do for their profession even if it doesn’t bring them the highest possible income. Many do what they love to do and that’s to help others.

No one ever talks about what happens when a person gets to the point where they rely on others to help them.

Let me tell you about my Golden Hearts. Two times in the past several weeks others have come to my aid in ways that may seem too subtle or non-issues to most people, but to me, they became my Golden Hearts at that very moment.

Last week at the Better Breathers Club, I was sitting in my chair listening to the guest speaker talk about lung issues. We had a large group and most of the chairs were filled. The Better Breathers Club is facilitated by our staff at the Cardio Vascular Wellness Center, particularly the Pulmonary Rehab group. They set it up, they do the scheduling, they bring in food, drink, prepare the room and 'run' each meeting. They do all of this in addition to maintaining their regular scheduled daily work load, and are quite busy on any given day.

I was sitting in my chair and as the speaker was discussing the program I realized that I felt some burning in my chest. Nothing big, but it was the tightening I sometimes get when I am not getting enough air. I didn’t realize it at first, but after a couple of minutes it dawned on me that perhaps I was running out of air. I really didn’t think it possible because I had already switched tanks earlier after spending 2 hrs working out and at chair yoga. I had been halfway to the café when I felt this before and decided to return to the Wellness Center right then; rather than continuing to the café in hopes that I wouldn’t run out there. I knew that as far as I went outward, I would have to walk that same distance back to get more air and that wouldn’t be good for me. So my lunch partner sat down and waited while I returned to swap another tank before we went out to eat.

I thought I had been good for the rest of my day at the wellness center with my new tank of air. Sitting in my chair, I pulled the cannula out of my nose and held it up to my upper lip and felt no flow of air….

In a flash my brain is calculating how many steps I have to go, carrying the tank back to the gym where more air is located…. In my mind, my tank had now become 3 X’s heavier than it was before...

So that means I’d have to carry it out of the meeting room, down the hall past the lobby and through the big double doors, and down another hall to the room adjacent to the wellness center area where the tanks are…. I knew I had the strength to get there, but I would be in very poor condition when I got there, and that it would hurt, and I would need to sit down for (I don’t know how many) minutes until I recuperated. All of this went through my mind in a flash, just as it does every time I run low on air.

Sitting there in the meeting with this realization, and then calculating distances through my mind, I started to set myself up. I reached down and pulled the flap down on my tank to view the regulator to check my level of O2 and saw that it was down deep in the red zone, meaning it was empty.

This was not going to have a good outcome, because not only would I have to get up and weave my way out of the room during the presentation, I would have to endure the distance, too. I have to say that the very last thing on my mind is to have any conversation, much less, interruption or anything to cloud my mind, because at times like this, I am suddenly cast into survival mode.

Most people do not know this, and are unaware of how this works when a person is out of air. Sometimes the mere thought of it is enough to cause the feeling of not having air, even when a person does have air. The big difference is that when officially out of air, confusion will set in quickly, because in survival mode what is most important is getting what a person needs as soon as possible to get them back to where they are supposed to be.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed movement on my lower right side and I looked over and there was my Golden Heart, let’s call her Susan, and she was talking to me.

She had been sitting in the back of the room, enjoying the meeting as we all were, and I guess she had seen me pull my cannula out to check the airflow, and look my regulator, and she jumped into action without saying a word. She knew what to do and didn’t wait for me to look around with “that look” in my eyes. She notices things! She follows through!

She knew immediately, and she came up to me, bent down opened my case for my tank and muttered something like, I’ll get you a new tank just sit right here.” I am not sure exactly what she said, my brain was already starting the grip of survival, but I knew what she was referring to because I had heard her say "another tank" and "be right back." And she was gone out of the door. About three minutes later she was back with a new tank of air, connected me up, and life continued on…

Not many people pay attention to the small things like that. She is a Golden Heart.



She made herself available, even though she had so many things to do that day, she actually stopped everything when she saw that one of her ‘people’ was about to be in distress. She averted my distress. How can I say thank you to her enough times?

My second Golden Heart was even more subtle than this one.


Another respiratory therapist, let’s call him Robert, was in the process of working with a new client. Each client completes the 6 min walk when they first come to Pulmonary Rehabilitation. This is how they are assessed for treatment and for therapy and for supervised exercise programs.

Before clients start each day, and during the course of their workout a series of tests and readings are made. After graduation from Pulmonary Rehab., we do our own testing, but while in pulmonary rehab these tests are continual and all results are written down and archived for future reference and for the patients individual plan for wellness and sent back to their referring Dr.s. Every person goes through this. And during the 6 minute walk each person wears a portable EKG and a pulse oximeter. All of these will be able to assess their needs, for oxygen and their level of exertion. The patient walks around the track while the Respiratory Therapist walks behind the patient pacing them at their rate of speed and take notes (I guess).

This particular day, one of the Respiratory Therapists, the one we’re calling Robert, happened to have a new client that he was working with, on the 6 min walk. I had been working out and it had been a particularly hard day for me.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, people with COPD will wake up with breathing issues that will follow them throughout their day. Whether it is air pressure, temperature changes, particulates in the air, who knows? But it happens. It can be very frustrating because a person can be having a fantastic roll of days where they actually think they are getting better, and then out of the blue this nasty disease will remind them that it is not so, in the cruelest of ways, by waking in the morning very short of breath. It can be very frustrating.

I was having one of those days. I had been doing great, getting lots done. My errands were easy to achieve, and I was looking forward to a great day, only to realize as I sat up in bed, that I was already short of breath. When I took my morning meds I had a hard time inhaling one of them. Hmmm. When I got to the gym I mentioned it and was told that others were saying the same thing. OK, so at least I am not the only one.

I did my workout as I normally do, adjusting it to my lower breathing threshold of oxygenation and I had found myself quite winded after my workout. I was sitting in the Pulmonary Rehab section taking a breathing break before moving onward to my Chair Yoga class, and well, I must have looked like I was in distress or something, because as Robert rounded the corner with his patient he looked at me and instantly became a Golden Heart..

He probably doesn’t even know it, but while he was working with his patient in the midst of his client’s 6 min walk, he saw me sitting there, looked me in the eye and shot me the thumbs up…… which I reciprocated by returning it.

You see, he was checking to see if I was OK, or if I was confused by a lack of oxygen, because he knows the pattern of a person who’s in distress. A person in distress may not seek help, in fact they may not respond at all, but by non response it does not necessarily mean that they are OK, it might mean that they are ready to flop over.

chair yoga

I fully realize that had I not returned his thumbs up, that Robert would have put his patient on hold to come to my aid; because that is what Golden Hearts do.

I have been reminded more than once now that there are people that actually have given their hearts and minds to those that they work with.

Two times now 2 people have stepped up to the plate without being asked. This is how I know I am in the right place, the best place for me and my breathing issues.

I find it comforting to know that I can move a single muscle, a flinch, a recognized nuance in a way that isn't right and if a Golden Heart happens to be nearby they will jump into action, whether it be to ensure that I can continue along, even if it is merely an affirmation that I am still here in the present.

Great people They are.

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